People and Community Research

A handbook for Florida parents of LGBTQ+ youth

Editor’s note: The following opinion piece was submitted as part of the inaugural “Op-ed Challenge” hosted by the University of Miami Graduate School. Open to all graduate students, entries were judged by media professionals.

Growing up, I put up walls to hide my identity. For many years, I had no idea there was such thing as a gay identity, but I intuitively knew that revealing it would cause me certain harm. Attending conversion therapy reinforced that belief.

Why? How? These questions drive my research as I pursue a Clinical Psychology Ph.D. at the University of Miami.

Though in recent years there has been considerable change in social perception towards homosexuality, the path for the creation of safe spaces for LGBTQ+ youth is far from over. LGBTQ+ youth still face discrimination in subtle ways, and the political environment in Florida today has put this in clear focus. There is an urgent need to create more safe spaces for the healthy development of LGBTQ+ individuals. Coming out should be free of stigma and discrimination. Researchers Mark L. Hatzenbuehler and John E. Pachankis have indicated stigma disrupts interpersonal development which in turn influences health. These health issues manifest themselves in anxiety, depression, isolation, suicidal ideation, and poor coping skills. The issue of stigma becomes magnified since it runs on different societal levels—in the family, and now, at the state level.

Coming out to parents is still far from ancient history in 2022. LGBTQ+ children face a myriad of stressors related to revealing their homosexuality to the world. For example, growing up with religiously based morals made it all but intuitive for me not to come out. From a psychological perspective, I provide advice to help parents support their children. A team of researchers at the University of Miami found that gay men who recalled having attentive and affirming parents reported their parents reacting less negatively to coming out than those with authoritarian parents.These findings challenge parents to encourage independence in their children, to be attentive to their child’s needs and be affirming of their decisions and feelings. Positive health outcomes lie in the support children receive early on.

Another threat to Florida LGBTQ+ children is the thought of advancing conversion therapy efforts. I participated in a conversion therapy that attempted to tie religion with psychology. It attempted to introduce the belief that everything negative in my life was a result of being gay. I believe it forgot to account for the culture of stigma and discrimination enabled by the therapy itself. John Dehlin and colleagues, who studied conversion therapy efforts among the Latter-Day Saints (LDS/Mormon), found conversion therapy to be harmful. They affirm that religiously affiliated therapists should duly consider the finding that acceptance-based forms of therapy are likely to be rated as significantly more effective and less harmful by LDS LGBTQ+ individuals than are change-based forms of therapy. As I was starting my Master of Public Health in Utah, I was fortunate to witness the banning of conversion therapy by the state legislature in 2020. Utah has something to teach us about it. The culture we grow up in can determine how successful we can be in being our authentic selves.

LGBTQ individuals are suspectable to isolation and this pain transforms into maladaptive processes that then create a health disparity that go into medical issues. There are still hurdles to cross in the path of acceptance. But the answer lies in a simple word: communication. I encourage parents to openly talk about their children’s identity, sexual orientation, and encourage authenticity can turn their self-images to be congruent with who they truly are. I also encourage parents to seek mental health services from therapists who understand the harm of conversion therapy who can also incorporate affirming education involving sexual orientation. Much of our misunderstandings center between religion and sexuality. The goal of psychoeducation is to integrate religion if individuals so desire and at the same time reducing the stigma associated with being LGBTQ+. They do not have to be at odds.

Congruence, authenticity, and acceptance are key pillars towards the wellbeing of LGBTQ youths. As psychologists, our goal is to not shy away from talking about what it means to be a sexual and gender minority. We seek to change that with interventions and psychoeducation. In home, in therapy, and in the state, we ought to preserve the voices of sexual and gender minority populations to advance their wellbeing. Rejection is a health disparity. Silence is a health disparity. Unable to be true to yourself is a health disparity.

Juan Alberto Esquivel-Mendoza is a graduate student in the College of Arts and Sciences at the University of Miami. Read more about the inaugural “Op-ed Challenge.”


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